Fixing Whats Broken
by merdermcdreaming
Summary: A series of short one-shots where I add/edit Meredith and Derek scenes that I think might need a little fixing up! :
1. Yes, Derek wants to Breathe For Meredith

_**a/N: Hi everyone! You know how sometime you need a place to release any bundled up energy or frustration? Well this is my place. It's a group of one-shots, written by me, fixing some Meredith and Derek that I felt could use a little fixing. Every moment isn't related (example: I could write a chapter about 6x01 and then 6x07, but they wouldn't have anything to do with each other. Get it?) I'll be updating this every now and then, mostly when Shonda does something to upset me and I need to get a little Meredith and Derek bright and shininess in. Enjoy, read and review! Disclaimer: Characters owned by Shonda & company, and mainly the italicized dialogue in the beginning is from her episode, too!**_

**This update is from the end Meredith and Derek scene from the episode Desire, from season three episode twenty-one.**

_Meredith looked at him, not believing his response to her. He looked tormented, a look that certainly didn't suit his face. Meredith could tell off the bat. Above them, rain patted on the window, pounding high above their heads. She sniffed the thick and sticky air laden with moisture. She continued looking at him, waiting for a response. All that came out was a meek, "I'm fine." Meredith was Meredith, though. And she knew him better than that. She gulped and mumbled a response.  
" Are we fine?"  
She watched as Derek's expression changed. "Sure." Meredith let a sigh escape the gap between her pink lips.  
"Not so convincing." At all. "I shouldn't have accused you of hovering. It wasn't nice. You were just trying to be there for me. But now I'm being available and communicating and being naked and doing all of your favorite things." She looked at him, begging him silently to look at her.  
Of course, he let out a flat: "Mmm, good things." His expression stayed the same. Same as before. She sighed again, hoping he'd hear her worry.  
" Then why are you still staring at the ceiling?"  
" I don't know. It's just that...that day...you came out of the water...I spent the scariest hour of my life trying to breathe for you." Meredith tried to listen to him, but half of her being was trying to relive it. She _knew _he had been breathing for her. In her unconscious state, she had found out that he couldn't live without her. Of course he had been breathing for her. "I love you and I want you but I don't know what to...you didn't swim." She wanted to protest. She _did _swim. Didn't she? "You didn't swim and you know how to...and I don't know if I can...I don't know if I wanna...keep trying to breathe for you." Her heart faded. It had been so ready, so open, so available. She had opened it up to him, and she felt it squish under the big heel of heartbreak. She winced.  
She bit her lip and whispered against her will, "I should go." She waited for him to protest, or apologize, or hold her, but there was no response. She felt a wad of tears fill in her throat, and it made her voice damp and unfamiliar. "I'll go." She breathed, climbing out of the bed. _

She pulled her clothes on, biting her lip until it stung and hoping whatever heart break she was feeling would fade. It of course didn't, and the painful thumping intensified. "I guess… I'll just… go." She added passive aggressively. She began to pad away softly, the rain drowning out the sob that escaped her mouth.

"Meredith…" She heard Derek behind her gently, as he wrapped his warm hand around her forearm.

"I should…"

"Meredith," He said again, firmer. She didn't turn around as she heard him pull his clothes on as well. She just stood there, frozen in the time passing around her. Of course the rain continued. You can't stop the rain. "I…" His voice was thick and unfamiliar. It sounded sad. She gulped, shoving the clump of tears back down her throat forcefully.

"I'm trying!" She spun on her heels, surprised by the intensity of her voice. He looked at her, his eyes casting apon her distraught face. "I… I'm really trying. I don't know how to communicate. I certainly don't know the difference of hovering and watching over me. I wish I did. But…I don't… I've never done this before." Her eyes wandered down, staring intently at the floor as if it was interesting. She couldn't look into his icy eyes in a fear that it would open the gate to all the emotions that were attempting to shove their way out. She took a deep shaky breath.

_Pound, patter, splat. _The rain taunted the eerie and unwelcome silence between them. Meredith shook her head, not expecting an answer. _Pound, patter, splat. Pound, patter, splat. _Mocking. Again and again, as if the silence wasn't enough.

Derek's voice sliced through the noise of the downpour. She felt his warm hands on her chin, as he cupped her face gently and brought it up. His oceanic eyes met hers, "I'm sorry, Meredith." His voice lowered. "I know you're… new to this. I tend to be a little overprotective. I guess that's just a trait. Or something." A trait? She tried to pry out of his grasp, but he held her. "I didn't mean I don't want to breathe for you. Trust me. I would breathe for you every day of your life if you needed it. Old, smelly, senile- anything, anywhere, whenever you needed it." She felt the tears come.

"Then why'd you say~" She gasped out, a splatter of sadness hitting the back of her throat.

He interrupted her gently, "I have to say, I'm new to this too. I mean, I've never had an experience like that. When you went into the water… It's just…" He ran his hands through his silky raven hair. She watched as he fumbled around for words messily, trying to find the right ones to use. "I blamed myself. I blamed myself for it… I told myself I wasn't there for you, that I hadn't been there when you needed it. I forced the blame a poun myself. I guess… So I started hovering. You were right. I wasn't just watching over you, I was _really hovering. _And I apologize."

"Then why…" She whispered again, looking into his eyes with a broken frown.

_Pound, patter, splat. _

"I really just wanted to place the blame on someone other than myself." He said quietly, shame dripping in his warm voice. "And I guess I blamed it on you. Meredith, I'm sorry…"

Meredith looked at him- _really _looked at him, willing with all her being to believe him. He gazed fully into her eyes, a gentle reassurance that what he said _was _true. Derek was always true. No matter what happened to him, no matter what crossed their paths, they were true. No running, no lies. _True. _

_Pound, patter, splat. _More rain. A downpour, rapping off his trailer, cluttering her thoughts. _Pound, patter, splat. _

"I'm sorry," He added again, meaningfully.

Her voice was filled with sincere hope. Meredith Grey wasn't normally one to hope. But she allowed herself to, taking a deep inhale as she breathed, "I know."

With the rain tapping and the time passing, Meredith then leaned in closer to him, inviting him to return the action. He did, swaying his body to lean into her. Both their bodies formed a perfect shape as she wrapped her arms around his warm neck, pulled him in and kissed him. He pulled her tighter and did the same, as they both could feel the weight of what happened be lifted off their shoulders.

And they kissed.

_Pound, patter, splat. _


	2. 7x02

**My version of the miscarriage scene! (7x02) Thanks for reading, comments are VERY appreciated! :) The beginning was what I took from the script, the rest I created :) **

**DISCLAIMER: G.A belongs to Shonda Rhimes... Hmm.  
**

"_Hey, I heard about Cristina. Is she alright?" Derek was almost out of breath by the time he caught up with Meredith's brisk steps. Although small, if she pumped her legs fast enough, she could sure move fast. He let out a little pant until he was finally next to her. Concern furrowed his eyebrows, he clasped his hands together. _

_Meredith, obviously annoyed, snapped back,__ "__No, she's not alright. No one's alright," Derek sighed and looked down, knowing for himself that this too, was true. He would have protested and defended himself, but his heart didn't have the willpower to stop her rant. "And that idiot is clearing everyone for surgery like they're fine - and they're not fine."_

_She was clearly upset, so he tried his best to calm her down. Calming down Meredith was often a difficult task, though, but he made his best attempt. Cool air of the hospital hummed around them, sounds buzzing rhythmically in a flurry around them,__ "Stop," He said calmly but firmly, "Stop, I need to talk to you."_

_Meredith was beginning to get annoyed with the subject. It had begun as a fresh topic, a thinly rooted issue that would bring minor conflicts. By then it was just stale. She was done with it; done with everything.__ "Just leave it alone, Derek. It was one night in jail. You drive too fast. Just forget about it." A lie. _

_Derek tried to keep his expression cool. He was beginning to feel a numb bubble of concern reflecting what she had said earlier: No one's alright. "I don't wanna talk about that. Don't worry about that." He said, only half-convincingly. They hadn't gotten a chance to talk, really talk, in ages. They had now paused in front of the OR board, and the hospital continued it's steady flow around them. Nurses rushed, the taps of their shoes echoing in the hallways and the sounds rippling into their eardrums. It sounded like a familiar rhythm, like they were just trudging through the motions. _

_Meredith had lost her defense. It collapsed to her feet in an unstable heap. She couldn't contain it anymore, as it felt like it was a rocket about to implode, shaking her to the very core.__ "Don't worry about it? All I do was worry. All the time. I spend every minute of every day worrying. That I'm gonna get a phone call that you wrapped your car around a pole. That's why I left you in jail. So just for a little while, I would know that you're not dying," She hesitated briefly, and stuttered, "Like you were dying on that table. That's what I think about, every time you pull out of the driveway." Having letting the words tumble out of her mouth, she sighed heavily and rolled her eyes around to the ceiling, then the floor, searching for anything to let her eyes focus on. Nothing came to her, though. Nothing except Derek. _

"Meredith…" Derek sighed. There was a flicker of anxiety the echoed deep within her eyes, throbbing and pulsing to the beat of her heart. He cocked his head to the side and looked _into _her, something he had trained himself to do. He knew her too well. Without saying anything, he slipped his hands into the folds of her warm palms, feeling the shockwave of her skin clasped in his. "Meredith, what is this about?"

"Nothing. This is about nothing," She snapped, her voice dipping lower in defense. She lowered her glimmering eyes, staring at the ground. Tiny skid marks made grooves in the shiny floor from gurneys. At first it seemed as if she was the silent effigy of sadness- but she really was. Anxiety bit at her furiously. Derek's warm hands remained locked in hers, offering as little comfort as he could possibly. He tried to look at her, but her gaze roamed anywhere but at him. He sighed.

"Meredith, I'm serious. I've been worried about you. I've been worried about you, and I don't know what to do. You don't talk to me, so I worry. A lot," His admittance was inevitable, and he pursed his lips. There was no telling of how Meredith would react.

"You? Worried about _me?" _Meredith gasped in an array of disbelief and stress. Derek nodded. "Derek, how can you be… what are you trying to…" Her words escaped her, falling into a heap at her feet. She struggled for syllables, words, sentences… but could do anything except form sounds. The sound that came out of her gapped lips was a small whimper. Derek furrowed his eyebrows again in pure worry.

He released his hands and grabbed her arm, pulling her. She tried to protest but it felt as if she was rattled from the core, an uncomfortable echo that was radiating from her chest. She let him drag her all the way into an on-call room, slamming the door behind him. She whipped around to face him, her eyes glossy and shimmering. "Meredith Grey, tell me what's wrong. I can help. It's what I'm here for," He said firmly.

She shook her head. "N-nothing's wrong, Derek! I'm not some broken doll that you can fix again and again. I. Am. Fine."

"You said yourself that no one is okay. That includes you," He said again, tolerating her as much as she could. She stumbled around, throwing her hands up and dragging them against the grain of her silky hair.

"I didn't mean…"

Derek interrupted her firmly, steadily clasping his hands on her forearms and giving her a light squeeze. She stopped pacing, glaring at him through her glossed over eyes. She sighed as he whispered, "Meredith, just tell me. I need you to… tell me. I love you, and whatever it is you're going through, we can get through this. I promise you, Meredith. Just… tell me." He reached his hand up and pulled a chuck of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. She shuddered as his fingers grazed her ear, near where her hairline met it.

"I…" Her voice had dipped to a low whisper, barely audible, a numb shaking imminent in the background of the tone. "Derek, I was pregnant. I was… pregnant. That day."

Derek paused. Frozen. Not moving. Muscles still. Mouth agape. He tried to function, tried to form words, "Preg…pregnant?" He tried, his hands dropping from Meredith's sides. His heart warmed softly. They were having a baby. They were having a-

"Yes. I was pregnant that day. And… I…" She felt tears prick threateningly at the corners of her eyes. "Derek, I had a miscarriage." The words were abrupt, sudden, unpredictable and lonely.

Derek felt the weight of a heavy sadness slap him, sending the room into a maddening blur. The dim colors on the wall melted into a swirling palette that twisted and confused his mind. Miscarriage. No, that word was not in his vocabulary. No, it was not familiar. No, it was not welcoming. It was lonely and dim. A terrible word that mocked them over and over, taunting them like hanging catnip above a cat's nose. It was a reminder of what they didn't have. He wanted to hear any other word than…

_Miscarriage. _

"Miscarriage?" He tried the word out. He didn't like it. Biting his lip, he looked at her through tear-filled eyes. The tragedy was too much to bear. _Was _pregnant. _Was. _"Meredith, I… I didn't know…"

"Derek, I'm…" Her breath deceived her, catching in her throat. She choked on lumps of unforgiving tears, "I'm so sorry. Derek, I'm so sorry," He then grabbed her tightly, pulling her into his soft embrace. She whimpered ad sniffled into his shoulder, clutching across his back and hooking her arms around him tightly. Warmth radiated from his soft skin, and she could smell his familiar scent. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep in the tears that were threatening to overflow.

"Don't," He whispered. "Don't ever apologize. It's not your fault." His words were dripping with meaning. Tears were falling from his eyes in large shining drops. They rolled down her back, and she could barely feel them.

"I just… I really wanted this. You know?" She whimpered, clutching tighter to Derek. He nodded into her back, inhaling shakily.

"I know, Meredith. I know."

"I just…" She was at a complete loss of words. Derek pulled away briefly, looking deep into her blue eyes and using the pad of his thumb to wipe away fat tears that were dampening her cheeks.

"Someday we'll get this, Meredith. We will. I swear to you," He said deeply, kissing her passionately. He could feel their cheeks press together, running his hands up and down her back. She sighed into him, collapsing her head into his chest. "I love you. We'll have a family someday, I promise. I just… I wish… there was something I could do."

"Derek, I…" She gasped, clutching to any oxygen she could pull into her body. "If you want to help, control your speeding. Stay safe. Because one day, we will have a baby…" She sniffled, letting her fingers dance along his chest. "…and I need you to be here with me when that happens. Please, Derek. I love you,"

His emotions broke loose yet again, and he pulled her in tighter, "I love you, too."


	3. Goodbye, Rose

_**A/N: My parody of the Derek/Rose kissing scene in Season Four. Nothing against the actress that plays Rose, but I really didn't like her character. At all. Meredith and Derek forever :) I hope you enjoy it, comments are appreciated!**_

_**Disclaimer: If I owned GA, there wouldn't be a Rose In the first place. **_

Rose leaned in. Biting the bullet. Closer. Closer.

Derek stared. Her lips. Red. Thin. Chapped. Odd. They were getting closer to him, rapidly increasing in speed as they neared to his face. Coming closer. He could almost feel the weight of her presence coming to pummel down on him. Did he want to kiss her?

No. No, he didn't. Was that even a question? Meredith… he loved Meredith.

She was coming closer, so close that she allowed herself to let her eyes flutter shut. Her lips were pursed in a effigy of a romantic cartoon, making tiny sucking noises and rubbing them together. She leaned, putting weight on her feet, moving as if it was in torturous slow motion. Her breath patted at his, smelling like an aroma of foul-smelling candy and feces. Ew.

His eyes darted around the room, biting his lip. Did he have a way to escape? The door was a mere few yards away, signifying the exit, his escape, the place he could run. Could he make it? Maybe if he stomped quietly in a quick run, quickening his pace effortlessly as he walked. He craved her. Literally, craved her. All he wanted was her. He was so close to that door… The door that opened to Meredith. Meredith, the one he picked in the first place.

His eyes glanced back into the sheer reality of the heavy situation. Rose's unwelcome lips were taunting him, coming closer, moving faster. It was as if she had predicted he would back out. _Ha, you can't back out, now, _it was as if she said, _I'm too close. You have to do it now. Just do it, Derek. Do it. _

Startled that she had gotten so close, he backed up abruptly, dropping the towel he wiped his hands with back into the sink, his hands trembling. It took her a moment for her to finally let her eyelids flutter open. She pouted heavily, cocking her head to side in confusion. "Derek, what's wrong?"

"I don't want to kiss you," He said simply. The words proved convincing for himself as well as her.

"Yes, you do," She replied easily, as if she was Derek himself. Derek shook his head rapidly.

"No, Rose, I really don't," He responded, shifting his weight uneasily.

"But there were sparks, Derek! There were sparks, didn't you feel them?" She swooned quietly, her eyes flickering with lust. Derek grimaced.

"Uh, no Rose. I really didn't feel the uh… sparks," He chuckled out of pure disbelief, pulling off his scrub cap. He ran his fingers through his hair messily.

"I see…" She whispered. Good, was she normal? "Is this about the pictures of you under my bed?" Apparently not.

"What pictures?" Derek gasped, shuddering.

"Never mind. You love me. You felt the sparks. End of story."

"No!"

"Yes you did!"

"No, I didn't!" Derek said, defending himself to the fullest. Was she crazy? Probably.

"Derek, I saw it in your eyes. You _want _me," She cooed softly, taking a few silent specks closer to him. He gulped.

"Rose, whatever you thought we had, we don't. And we never did. Alright?"

"No…" She stuttered, shaking her head and whimpering. "No. I don't… I really think that if you give me a chance, I'll blow your mind. I'm amazing, Derek. I'll rub your back, I'll buy you candy…"

"I really don't like you!"

"…I'll feed you the candy, I'll get us a cat… actually, four cats. To go along with our ten kids, right?"

Derek gasped, "What are you… what? No, Rose!" He backed up, suddenly aware that she had gotten closer. He held his hands tightly together, pushing on his skin nervously.

"No, Derek…" She purred, moving even closer to him, matching his steps. She fluttered her eyelashes suggestively, "You don't seem to understand."

"Uh, YOU don't seem to understand!" He coughed in disbelief. Step back.

"I have our wedding plans," She giggled obliviously, a crazy look throbbing in the depths of her eyes. Derek swallowed a lump of bile that was filling his throat. Ew. "I planned it… last night. We could have flowers… I like petunias. Don't you like petunias, Derek? Don't you?"

"What are you talking about? We're not getting married. Rose, I don't even… I don't like you! Go away!" He said, starting to get furious. She had no right to be planning their wedding.

"But I heard you like petunias," Rose said, pouting stupidly. "Oh well."

"Rose, I love someone else," He said icily. The woman was going crazy.

She frowned, her face hardening, "No, you don't. It's Meredith you're thinking of, right?"

"Right~"

"I knew it! Silly, she doesn't love you. She's just keeping you around so she can pretend she has someone. She's not smart. She's actually stupid." She gigged. "Apparently, she needs your help whenever she chooses to try and drown herself."

He was furious, and shouted, "How DARE you say that!" He then paused, "Wait, how did you…?"

"I read your file," Rose admitted. Derek gaped. "Sugar Lips, don't look at me like that. You should be glad I'm protecting you from someone like you."

It had gone way too far. Line crossed. Boundary broken. "Get out of here, Rose," He growled, anger bubbling from his chest and erupting out of his mouth.

"But babe, I love you. And you love me," She said melodically. She placed her tiny, shaky hands on his chest and looked into his eyes. He backed up, knocking over some surgical tools. The scrub room was a good size, but it wasn't big enough for the both of them.

The whole hospital wasn't big enough for the both of them.

"Freak!" He yelled angrily. She chased after him, following him by the sliding door.

"Don't say that!" She cried, suddenly stopping. "All I wanted to do was to help you, Derek! Sweets, I love you, and you _love me. _You told me yourself."

"No, I didn't!"

"You did in a dream," She clarified. He gasped, shaking his head in disbelief. "And I believe that dreams have a special pathway to your feelings. And I think they were telling me something."

"You need a hobby…" Derek muttered. She widened her dough-like eyes.

"WHAT?" She shrieked. She jumped over to him, grabbing him. He yelled in surprise. "YOU ARE MY HOBBY, DEREK CHRISTOPHER SHEPHERD!" He felt her twist his scrubs up in her tiny hands, so he pulled away, running away from her, trying to reach the door. He needed to reach it. Needed to. "Come back, honey bunches! I didn't mean it!"

"Get away from me, before I call security!" He shouted back at her. He clasped his hand around the handle and pulled, letting the cool air outside of the scrub room whip him in the face. He gulped, panting for air. Her hand hit his shoulder.

"Derek, don't go!" She cried, following him out, shrieking. They had finally arrived outside of the OR board, and people were staring at the commotion.

"GET AWAY!" He shouted at her, right in her face. He could feel himself send a rapid spray of spit. Did he honestly care? "CALL SECURITY!" He yelled to everyone around him, people who had been watching the entire scene.

"Derek, no!" She sniffled. "You love me. Don't you dare go running back to the failure of a girlfriend that you dumped in the first place! YOU DESERVE better!" She coughed. "You deserve me!" She whined. Derek gritted his teeth in fury.

That was the last straw.

He spun around on his heels before she could know what was happening. He reeled his hand back into a hearty, power-filled punch. He put all of his weight behind his fist, winding, pulling heavily backwards. She widened her brown eyes, letting out what sounded like a stifled scream. He lunged forward, throwing a punch that sent her flying backwards. She fell to the floor and sniffled. "But I love you."

"Well I don't," He finished simply.

"I'm sorry," She mumbled, scrambling off. The punch must have knocked some sense into her or something. She called as she ran, "Always remember I loved you!" Just kidding.

Around him, claps erupted from the bystanders.

Apparently, Meredith had been standing, watching as well. She rushed over to him, smiling widely, her teeth showing as she grinned at him. He looked at her, _into her. _"Derek?"

"You saw."

"I did," She said with a giggle. She bit her lip and looked up into Derek's eyes. "I have the best boyfriend ever."

"Boyfriend? So we're back together or~" But he was cut off by Meredith's lips pressing to his, pulling him in closer in a muffled giggle.

"Always remember that I love you," She laughed, kissing him again.

_**A/N: Thanks for reading! Comments?**_


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